If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I checked into jail on foursquare
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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