I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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