From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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