i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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