You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
