how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
