Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
