her vagine was all disorganized.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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