I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
