I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
