Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
