Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
