I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
