Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
