honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
