i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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