i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
