sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you still have your period?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
