I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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