god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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