i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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