He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
