he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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