i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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