dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
