Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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