I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
