I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
