hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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