beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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