How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
