My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
