i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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