My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
