I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
