Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
