is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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