how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
