and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
BRING THE BAGELS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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