I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
found the other keg... it's in the tree
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
