I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
