i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
