Apparently you make a good broom.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
