haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
