I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
only you would photoshop your dick
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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