all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
