A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
