she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
