its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
