writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
