i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Fuck appropriateness.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
